Tuesday, October 27, 2015


photo from Facebook

I wondered how I would start my next blog update and have rewritten it over and over and still have came up blank - until this morning.  I scrolled across this photo in my facebook newsfeed and knew that this was the perfect intro to our update.  What do you think when you look at this photo?  In the facebook comment below this photo someone stated, "HE will be Glamour's "Woman of the Year" next week. And real women all over the world should be outraged!!" and it had already received a couple "likes".  What are you feeling right now?  Look at this photo one more time, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and take a moment to really search your soul... 

How are you feeling?  I feel great sadness deep within me!  I can't imagine living with such judgment and hatred.  What if, just WHAT IF you look at both of these images and think that each one is courageous?  WOW, that could change the world!  Really, what if we all could see such amazing strength, bravery, and courage in both of these images?  That's exactly what I see. 

Our world has come so far and still has so far to go.  Courage comes in all forms, my friends.  I'm proud to be an American and am forever grateful for our women and men who are serving, or have served, our country.  In fact, I am a wife of a former military man.  It takes courage to say the military, in combination with Lydia's rough start to life, gave me PTSD.  It's amazing that we only hear about our soldiers who suffer from PTSD.  How often do we think about their families?  Yes, the military people in the top image truly are courageous!   

It takes courage to find help and recover from PTSD.  It takes courage to go to your first day of kindergarten.  It take courage to move schools.  It takes courage to make a new friend.  It takes courage to make it through high school.  It takes courage to make different choices than your parents.  It take courage to work hard until you succeed at your goal.  It takes courage to publically nurse uncovered.  It takes courage to stand up to your boss when he/she is wrong.  It takes courage to be different.  It takes courage to parent the way that is right for you.  It takes courage to make the choice to not have children.  It takes courage to undergo fertility treatment, adopt, or have a surrogate.  It takes courage to get our of bed when you suffer from depression.  It takes courage to get help when you suffer from an addiction.  It takes courage to come out of the closet.  It takes courage to leave an abusive relationship.  It take courage to tell your family and friends you're going to be a surrogate.  It takes courage to take a stand for something you believe in.  It takes courage to face your fear.  You see, the list is endless because it takes courage to get though most things in life.  So yes, it takes courage to go through gender reassignment.  The bottom image displays a strong and beautiful woman who just might help other people have the courage to be who they are.  And in response to the facebook comment...this "real woman" would be honored and proud if Caitlyn Jenner was Glamor's Woman of the Year!  It just might aid in the change that the world is still in need of.  Courage comes in all forms!          

The power of positive thinking never ceases to amaze me.  I've heard many times throughout the years that there is something really calm about my demeanor.  I was taught at a young age how to deep breath and I think that has given me a peaceful aura.  I practice deep breathing and the power of positive thinking on a daily basis.  I also believe that everything happens for a reason.  We landed in a really terrible apartment when we moved to the metro.  We, actually "I" because Ben knows me better than I know myself sometimes, thought this was the best place to land so our kids could get into the schools we wanted them to get into and we were able to sign a short lease agreement.  The terms were that the smoke smell in the apartment would have dissipated prior to our move in.  I believe they tried to the best of their ability, but the apartment reeks!  I know, I know, how on earth would they get the apartment smelling like non-smokers lived here...stupid Josie!  BUT we were able to get out of the lease agreement due to health reasons - second had smoke.  We still had to give a 60 day notice, in which time we were able to sell and buy a house.  We just got news last night that we might be able to close next week...a week earlier than planned!  This would give us a little extra time to rip down wallpaper and paint before I leave to get knocked up!  I just knew it would all work out!  The power of positive thinking prevails! 

Like I mentioned above, it takes courage to be a surrogate.  There are some people in my life who don't agree with surrogacy, but there are plenty more who are amazingly supportive.  Thank you so much for your love and support!  We are just a little over a week and a half from starting meds!  I have the giddy feelings, like a little kid on Christmas, and it's starting to feel like the days are weeks because I'm so excited.  I didn't have these feelings a couple months ago.  My life felt a little chaotic and I defiantly wasn't mentally prepared for a transfer.  I just had a feeling it wasn't going to take the first time, which is why it ended up getting  pushed off until the time was right.  I'm thankful it was out of our control.  I will start meds on my next day 1, around November 8th, and I need to get blood work done on the 14th to make sure I am immune to rubella again.  The transfer will be 3 weeks after my next day 1 and lots of testing.  It's so exciting!!

This journey will be completely different from the first.  We only live about 15 minutes from my IPs now and I'm excited that they'll get to experience a little more of the pregnancy.  I don' think they felt like they missed out on anything, but I think having them really close in proximity will be a nice change.  It's so funny how people believe what they want.  We lived a rural township where everyone knows everyone, so I heard from a neighbor of ours that the older neighbors across the street thought we were moving to the metro to be close to "that baby", if you get my drift.  It just cracks me up that people will believe what they want.  They didn't know that Ben had to drag me by my feet with my nails dug in the ground to get me to move.  Now that we're here and getting familiar with the area I'm excited to be in this location and know that it is for the better.  I also get to see Liz as my midwife for the pregnancy and delivery.  This will be a welcomed change and I look forward to seeing her for my care.  Plus, how cool is it that she'll get to attend the delivery of her niece or nephew?!  She is an amazing woman and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better!  

And I got to take Spencer's 18 month old pictures.  He's so ADORABLE!!!!  I had to jump in and get a couple with him...                

18 Months
18 Months
I almost forgot to mention that my sister and I finished our second marathon, and our older brother ran this one too.  This marathon was soooooooooooo much better than our first.  I felt like I was on top of the world!  I'm not sure if I was just so prepared or if the different supplements I used helped that much, and the crowd support was unbelievable.  I'll defiantly run the Twin Cities Marathon again!
26.2 miles