Not So Hot Right Now

Lydia took this to show my IP's what I look like after puking my guts out.

I haven't been feeling the greatest during these last couple months.  We're a little over 10 weeks now and I have less than two weeks of medications that I have to take.  I think once I'm off the meds I'll feel better.  A couple weeks ago I was feeling so miserable that I called the OB to see if there was anything else I could do to help with the nausea and help me eat more.  She suggested that I take Zofran every four hours instead of every eight.  That made a HUGE difference in my life!  The only problem is...



May Cause Constipation? The warning should read:
WILL CAUSE CONSTIPATION

I haven't taken a dump in weeks.  There isn't one person who I've talked to about Zofran who hasn't gone through severe constipation.  It's way better than being nauseous all day long, so I'll take it.  I labored some poo this weekend during a 30 minute car ride home, only to proudly push out four little rabbit turds.  I'm on a stool softener to help ease the pain, clearly it's not really helping that much.  I'm confident that I'll be off the Zofran within the next few weeks and will have a happy and clean bowel soon after. 
 
As of today, I've lost 13lbs since the transfer.  I even threw up again from some stupid person leaving a cigarette butt still lit in the ash tray.  Why do people think that's acceptable?  I'm still only able to eat really bland food like homemade mac n cheese, soup, plain rice checks cereal, fake Velveeta cheese, fake cheese in a can on plain crackers, and my favorite is boxed mashed potatoes from Bonanza with their fake cheese on top. This weekend I pounded a bag of Funyuns.  I'm pretty sure I haven't consumed most of these foods since high school.  They sound so gross and taste so good.  The smell of wine is delicious.  I'm one of those crazy people who, on a normal basis, thinks coffee smells as bad as cigarette smoke, but this pregnancy has totally changed my mind.  I almost want to try a cup of decaf just to see if it'll taste as good as it smells.

My IP's came up for a visit a week ago.  We were able to take our first "Blow up the Belly" photo that we'll continue to document throughout the pregnancy.  Ben was our photographer and we had a bunch of people on a nearby balcony who were probably completely confused as to what we were doing.  After our photo we were able to hang out by the beach and chat the afternoon away.  It's such a comfortable relationship that we all have.  The time just flies when we're together.  We ended at Bonanza to fulfill my craving for those mashed potatoes and cheese sauce. 

I've been keeping track of people's reactions to the news when they find out I'm a surrogate.  The most common response is in the form of a question, "Is it for someone you know?"  I don't have a solid answer that I give when I hear this question.  We've become AMAZING friends, so I instantly want to say...Yes!  Sometimes I do say yes and sometimes I tell people how we met through an agency.  I've had arms swing around me with a giant hug, from people I don't know, and they tell me the nicest things.  One lady asked me a million questions and just cried, happy tears, through our whole conversation.  Our community is becoming aware of our gift and I have people in the grocery store asking me how I'm feeling.  We are blessed beyond belief from the support that is being poured out to our family!  I love that other people are as proud of us as we are for what we're doing.  We thank each and every one of you for your love and support!  This gift doesn't come easy and most people wouldn't be able to go through a journey like we are.  I'm so happy I'm one of the lucky people that was given this as a true desire in my heart.  Without a doubt and as sick as I am, this is something that I was put on this earth to do. 

I got a phone call from my IP's this weekend.  They heard from a friend that her dad had a Josie working at his dental office who is a surrogate.  She said that there can't be that many Josie's in the St. Cloud area that are surrogates, and she was wondering if I was the one who worked for her dad.  I guess it shows how small this big world is.  I'm actually going to be at her dad's office tomorrow.  I hope you're following this blog and maybe sometime we'll get to meet in person. 

There is a definite bonding that's happening with the baby and me.  I love her so much already, however, it's so very very different than the bond I had with our kids.  I don't really know how to explain it, but people often think that "giving up the baby" will be the hardest part of this journey.  I don't see it as "giving up" anyone, it's not mine to begin with.  There must be some great subconscious work going on because I'm not worried about that at all.  This little person will always hold a special place in my heart! 

This weekend I started feeling little bubbles.  Most people would say it's probably gas, but I think it's movement that I'm starting to feel.  Each day I'm feeling a little movement, just a couple times each day.  I think that it'll be awesome when there is movement that my IP's can actually see and feel!

We have our first official OB appointment on September 10th.  We'll meet with the nurse first and then see the OB afterwards.  I hope we'll get to hear the heartbeat!