Traumatized? YES!

I was fortunate enough to watch and video tape the birth of my new niece last weekend.  My sister is my new hero!  She had a perfect drug free water birth, and Elliott had the most peaceful way to enter the world.  I am, however, slightly anxious about the delivery of Mr. Surrogate baby now.  I kind of forgot how painful it is...Oops, should have thought about that before I got knocked up! (just kidding)  I love giving birth, but watching it from the other end is a very different experience.  I just wanted to take the pain away from my sister.  It's very difficult to watch my very best friend in that much pain.  At one point the midwife told my sister, "No one smiles while doing this."  Megan said under her laboring breath, "Josie does!"  It made me chuckle.  I'm so proud of my sister for succeeding in her goal for a water birth!

One week ago IP-A and IP-B came up for our 30 week OB appointment, our third "Blow up the Belly" photo, and to watch The Wizard of Oz play.  Lydia, who is 9, took our third photo and did an amazing job!  She also posed us an extra photo to enter into a photo contest and wrote a poem that answered the question, "What makes someone one of a kind?"

 

SURROGACY 

                                                                   

 Someone special

 Using her belly

 Really selfless

 Rounded belly

 Ovum donor

 Gave the egg

 Absolute

 Caring heart

 You are having a baby for someone else

 

Our appointment last week went well.  I'm measured at a perfect 30 and his heart rate was in the 130's.  I hate to say that I have 25lbs to loose already and I still have 9 weeks to go.  Not to focus on this as being bad or a big deal, but when people say I don't look big I have to let them know that I actually feel huge!  It's amazing peoples perspective on someone else when they don't know what they looked like prior to pregnancy.  Our doctor is as sweet as they come, but after seeing my sister deliver with a midwife I know that I really want IP-B's sister, who is a midwife, to be at the birth of her nephew.  Unfortunately, midwifes aren't allowed to deliver at the St. Cloud hospital or we would just have her instead of the OB.  We can, however, labor at home for as long as possible and then head to the hospital.  I think she would be perfect to have around to help keep me calm!  We've been chatting and she's given me great advice and resources to check out!  I'm super thankful that IP-B has an awesome sister (really there are two awesome sisters!!!).  We just hope the stars align right and she can make it!!!!!!!!!!

I've had some ups and downs this week.  I'm struggling to sleep and starting to feel exhausted.  I'm at the point where thinking about doing this for nine more weeks might feel like eternity!  My right ribs are bruised and I'm continually trying to push his foot out of them.  I still struggle with food.  I grew up in a chocolate loving family where CHOCOLATE is the main topic of most conversation, and my brain tells me I really want to eat it but it doesn't taste good (insert a BIG GASP!).  I've come to terms with it but it's still really hard to accept that I can't eat it while I'm "with" this child.  I wonder if he'll like chocolate?  I did have one night where the little man allowed me to sleep for five straight hours!  Hopefully this next week will be better!  The power of positive thinking does do wonders!!      

   



30 Weeks

30 Weeks

Ten weeks to go and counting...

This week has been very interesting in terms of pregnancy and life in general.  Ben and our kids are in The Wizard of Oz play.  We've had 10 plays in the last 6 days and I've been working the spotlight for each performance.  We're all ready for this weekend to be over so life calm down and we can get back into our regular schedule. 

My  pregnancy week started off with a crazy nightmare Sunday night. 
Three things you need to know before I go into my nightmare...
1. We know this little 8 year old girl who doesn't quite understand the concept of surrogacy, and continuously asks us if we're going to take the baby home with us for a little while and why are we giving him up for adoption.  I'm not in a position where I can explain things to her like I can our kids, so poor thing doesn't grasp the concept that he's not our baby even though I tell her that he's not ours.  2. My BFF (AKA my sister) is due with her baby today and they haven't given us a clue on her name yet.  I hope it's good so I don't have to fake that I like it even though she'll be able to read trough a fake smile.  I'm sure it'll be good because we always like the same names. 
3. I actually like the name Sam.  
The Nightmare 
Most expectant mothers dream about bringing their new baby home and all joy that goes with being a new mom.  Being a surrogate, dreams about bringing a baby home are actually considered a nightmare!  It was written in our contract that I had to take the baby home for five weeks before he went home with his parents.  They named him Samuel and I hated the name!!  I was forced to take this baby home that I didn't want with a name that I couldn't stand and take care of him for five weeks.  His parents came to visit when he was two weeks old and then planned on bringing him home three weeks later.  I didn't take care of him and forgot to change his diaper and feed him.  I was so happy when I woke up and realized that it was only a nightmare.  I sent my IPs a message and they confirmed that they want to take him home right away and that they don't plan on naming him Samuel.  I'm not sure if this is something that other surrogates have experienced, but I'll have to ask the ladies in my support group and see if anyone else has had similar nightmares. 

Two days ago I came to the point that I new would eventually creep up on me, I was ready to be done!  I couldn't get his little foot out of my rib and it seriously feels bruised.  My back was in so much pain because I keep arching it to see if I could move his little foot out of my rib.  The pain was so bad that it kept me up most of the night and I got a horrific headache.  I don't think pain could actually describe how miserable I felt, I just wanted him out right then an there!!  I was still uncomfortable yesterday, so I kept my hand under my rib and battled with his foot most of the day.  Last night the pain went away and I'm back to my normal happy pregnant self.  I know that in just a few weeks I'm going to be really ready for him to go home!

I hope our sub-below temps pick up a little bit.  We're planning on taking our third "Blow Up the Belly" photo today before our OB appointment.  I'm going to have to head there a little early with a shovel and clean up our photo site before my IPs get there.  After our appointment they're going to watch our family in the show tonight.  I'm looking forward to hanging out with them for a while.  I can't wait for them to feel the difference in the movement of the baby.  I'm actually able to feel body parts move now instead of just kicks.  Hopefully he cooperates so his parents can experience the excitement that I get to feel every day! 

I realize that I might not look as huge as I feel and people keep commenting on this topic, but I am feeling like a beached whale.  I get out of breath walking up stairs and struggle to put on my shoes.  I constantly think that I would be a really bad fat person because it seems like a struggle to do a lot of things.  It'll be interesting to see how my body bounces back in shape after this pregnancy.  We had our kids in our early 20's, so I'll be interested to see how my 30 year old body does after the pregnancy.  I signed up for a 1/2 marathon to do with my sister in May.   I hope having that motivation with keep me up and moving these last ten weeks!      

I realized I forgot to give you our feedback on the "Baby Mama" movie.  We didn't think we'd watched it before, but 3/4 through the movie we both realized that we had already seen it.  I'm not impressed with the movie much.  I think it gives a horrible example of surrogacy and it's virtually impossible to get pregnant with your own child like the movie shows.  First, the contract states at what points you are to remain abstinent before and after the transfer.  Second, there is an ultrasound done prior to the transfer to look at the lining and to make sure that the surrogate isn't ovulating.  It's a funny movie but portrays surrogacy kind of bad.  Surrogacy is not at all like the movies and each state has different laws!           

Remember When...

We celebrated Jack's 8th birthday this week!  So I thought for this weeks update we can take a look back at what I looked like when I was expecting our kids and their stories...

 

LYDIA

Kisses from Daddy just a week before Lydia was born



First Family Photo

I was only 21 and Ben was 22 years old when Lydia was born.  Most people must have thought we were very crazy to plan on having a baby at such a young age.  Looking back now, we think we were crazy, but we knew what we were doing, maybe?!?!  WE HAVE NO REGRETS!  Lydia was a week late.  We were preparing to become parents and have Ben leave for his deployment to Iraq.  We went into the hospital on our first anniversary to have something placed to help me dilate and I was induced the next day.  Knowing Ben was going to be leaving in five days, we wanted Lydia's birth to be very private and didn't want visitors until the next afternoon.  I didn't want many photos of the birth and I didn't want it video taped (UGH, total regret!).  I hung on for a long while without any pain medications but at some point caved in and got an epidural.  I think I pushed for two hours and the doc said they might need to use the forceps or suction to help her out.  I knew that they weren't going to use that on our baby, so buckled down and was able to push her out on my own.  We didn't know her gender until she was born.  Most of you don't know, but I made a deal with God that I needed to have a little boy if something terrible was going to happen to Ben.  I NEEDED to have a little boy who would remind me of him everyday.  When this little head of red hair started crowning I knew it was going to be the little girl of my DREAMS (I wanted a little red-headed girl for as long as I could remember).  I had an overwhelming peace that Ben was going to be okay, we had a girl!  
Long story short, Ben didn't go to Iraq and Lydia is healthy. (See one of my earlier posts for the full story)   

 

JACK

 



 For some reason I can't make the rest of the photos larger...sorry!
This is Lydia giving Jack kisses just a couple weeks before he was born.
He came earlier than expected and we didn't get a really good photo  :(

The birthing ball is my favorite way to labor in the hospital other than walking.  I used it with all three of our kids and will use it with this baby, too.

                                                                               Family of Four 

 

 It wasn't long after having Lydia that I told Ben that we better have another baby or I didn't want another one, because Lydia terrified me of being a new mom again.  Lydia and Jack are seventeen months apart.  I figured since I wasn't sleeping already that we should just have our second, and final baby, and thankfully Ben was on board.  Lydia was on an apnea monitor her first year and I honestly don't think I slept for nearly two and a half years after she was born. 

Jack's pregnancy was uneventful and his birth was perfect, except Auntie Meggie and Kristal (Ben's sister) missed it!  Eleven days before my due date, Ben was heading out to work and I was on the couch holding a sick little Lydia.  I told him that I'd been having contractions since six that morning and he might want to stay home for a bit to see it if progressed.  We knew he was a boy.  Just a couple weeks before we had changed the name from Kai to Jack because I couldn't stand the reaction I had gotten from people (Thanks everyone!!! I'm a fan of telling people the name for this reason).  Labor continued and I did much of it at home in the bathtub.  Ben became unsure of the name, Jack, when he realized that it was his adoptive sister, Jaclyn's, birthday (who left the family many many years earlier).  I totally understood.  We dropped Lydia off at my friend's house and headed to the hospital.  Ben said he purposely hit as many potholes from the ice storm that we just had on the way that he could!  When we arrived at the hospital around one in the afternoon I was already dilated to 9cm.  The doc broke my water right away and he was born within two hours.  They didn't have time to give me an IV and I had the perfect drug-free delivery!  The first thing Ben said as the baby came out was, "HI JACK!"  I didn't think we'd have a name for him for days.  I can't imagine him having a different name!     

My sister and Ben's sister were both supposed to be at the birth.  Megan was on her way home from Florida and we called Kristal late because we didn't' realize how far along I was.  Neither of them were there to watch, but Ben video taped the birth and that's a treasure to have!  

 

GEORGE

This photo was taken at 38 weeks with George

Taken by the Amazing Frank Marino from Life Touch in California

Frank photographed our family all the time while we lived in California.  He was our FAVORITE!

 

Typical labor look...quiet, peaceful, and on the birthing ball

 

Not many people give two thumbs up when it's time to push

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                        Our family is complete

 



Within a month of having Jack we had a vasectomy consult for Ben.  Our insurance at that time made us wait one month from the consult to the procedure.  I did what any 22 year old would do and changed my mind in that month!  We were finishing up with college and were planning our move to California.  I loved being pregnant!!!  Being a mom was the best, other than the fact that I was terrified of newborns because of my PTSD from Lydia, and so we got pregnant soon after moving.  We found out that we miscarried at our 10 week visit.  I could tell from the beginning of the pregnancy that it wasn't "right" and it felt very different than the others.  We waited a week to see if it would pass naturally, but I was scared to go to the bathroom, so at 11 weeks we had a D&C.  We were told to wait one normal cycle and then we could try to get pregnant again.

George is 25 months younger than Jack.  I did have a low lying placenta with his pregnancy that eventually moved up and I was able to have him vaginally.  He was a week overdue and I selfishly let our doc induce me.  I was so ready to have the little guy out of me!  Megan, Bethy and Shawn (my brother and sister-in-law), joined Ben and I in the hospital for the birth of George.  I actually called and asked Shawn if he wanted to watch his birth that morning and about two hours before he was born he decided he'd come and watch.  I think I was dilated to 6cm when I had an epidural that only worked on the left half.  I was totally fine being able to feel the right side, because when I pushed him out it only took two pushes. Having a room full of people meant that we were able to get awesome photos and a video of his birth. 

By the time we had George, I was already signed on with a surrogacy agency in California.  We knew we were done having kids, but I knew I wasn't done giving birth.  I love childbirth and really wanted to experience it again.  Ben said, "So long as that baby doesn't have to come home from the hospital with us, more power to you!"  And here we are.

 

I'll be 29 weeks tomorrow and I got a terrible cold this week.  For the first time I felt like I would like to have this baby out of me, just because I want to take drugs to knock me out and be able to sleep off this cold.  I'm starting to slowly feel better as the week goes on except for the acid reflux.  I cut out the carbonated water and that's helped a bit.  I can also feel my stomach stretching, so he must be growing fast inside or trying to stretch out himself!  He's still a little night owl, which is why I think I got sick.  I'm not sleeping nearly as much as I should.  Rant over, I still love carrying this little guy  :)  My IPs will be up next week for our appointment and we hope to take our third "blow up the belly" photo.  They're also coming to watch our family in The Wizard of Oz production.  Tomorrow is opening night for our three little munchkins and my big Ozian, and this pregnant lady will be doing the spotlights!     

   

   





Wait, Third Trimester Already?!?!

28 weeks
  I feel bigger than I look

 Welcome to week 28-third trimester!  I'm still having mixed emotions about being this far along on this incredible journey.  My sister, who is due in two weeks, will tell everyone that I'm so stupid for volunteering to be pregnant for someone else.  Don't get me wrong, she is one of my biggest supporters.  Poor thing, she just isn't good at being pregnant.  I'm sure in two months I'll be ready to have my body back and this little man off my bladder and out of my ribs.  He's been using my bladder as a punching bag during the night, and I'm getting up frequently to urinate and flip from one side to the other.  He's a little night owl...watch out IPs!  I'm sure it'll be quite a difference that my IPs will be well rested when he arrives.  I wonder if that will help with the sleep deprivation during infancy?  Most of the time the mother is beyond tired before the baby is even born, but they'll have had all the sleep they can get right up until delivery.  BONUS for them!!!  My acid reflux started kicking my butt a week ago, but I still need to quit drinking my La Croix water that is probably the cause of it.  All in all I really feel great and I'll miss it when he's born and gets to go home.  I totally understand why other surrogates do this over and over.  IT'S AMAZING! 
     
I'm just about ready to head into the clinic for my glucose test and I'm really not looking forward to this.  I've never minded having to drink the really sweet sugary drink for our pregnancies, however, when nearly everything tastes too sweet it's hard to imagine drinking it.  I plan on just chugging it as fast as I can to get it over as quickly as possible.  I'm bringing my camera and hopefully someone can capture me drinking it so my IPs can see how it goes  ;)  They're not coming up for this appointment today because we're already at the point where we'll have appointments every other week and they're coming up in two weeks!  Here I go...I'll write more when I get back from my appointment!    


No choice...I have to have the fruit punch

 




It really wasn't as bad as my face looks

 

Complete! 

So the glucose test wasn't as terrible as I had imagined. She captured the very moment that the drink hit the base of my tongue that can't handle sweets.  I was just relieved when it was over.  She looked at me after I drank it and said, "If you throw that up, you'll have to come back and repeat the test next week."  Mind over matter...I wasn't going to throw that up!  One hour after consumption, the vampire drew my blood and will call me with my awesome results this afternoon.  No worry, I've always passed it!

I saw our OB right after I drank that poison and I'm measuring at a perfect 28!  The little man's heart rate is in the 140's.  She gave me an Rx for an antacid if I need it, however, I'll stop drinking my La Croix water and see if that helps cut down the acid reflux.  I don't like taking anything while I'm pregnant so I didn't even fill the Rx.  We're on the downward hill now to the end of this part of the journey and the start of one that will last a lifetime!      



LONG OVERDUE UPDATE

It seems like the weeks are flying by and I've been bad about keeping the blog updated.  I always try to continue to do a better job, so one of my goals this new year, with three months left of the pregnancy, will be to do a weekly update for you all!

We did a lot of paperwork over the last month.  Our wills were officially signed and turned into the agency, and the latest documents that needed my John Hancock were to sign over mine and Ben's "rights" at the hospital.  Those papers gave my IP's "temporary" custody, so the baby will be banded at the hospital with their names and will go home with them, THANK GOD! (wink wink)  We'll have a court hearing ASAP after the birth of the baby for everything to be legal, blah blah blah...and my IPs are working on getting all the documents for the adoption ready to go.  I've hear that that's a lot of work.

OUR NEIGHBORS WITH OUR SIGNED HOSPITAL PAPERS

  Our totally rad neighbors were willing to be our witnesses signing the papers for the hospital.  They've been so supportive of our journey and it's super fun that they get to now have an actual part that they've played in it.  Yay for awesome neighbors! 

SUCKING HIS THUMB

Two weeks ago (at 25 weeks gestation) we had a checkup ultrasound to confirm that the little man looked good.  They didn't get a clear view of his heart at the first ultrasound and he had two little cysts on the back of his head.  They were pretty sure the cysts would go away but they wanted to make sure on a follow-up ultrasound.  The tech looked at his head to start and we were all relieved to learn that the cysts were gone! She also confirmed that the little guy was a dude, and he still looked like a boy five weeks later. 

This ultrasound was more fun than the first.  We were able to watch the whole thing instead of closing our eyes every time she was near his genitals.  The little guy was sucking his thumb each time we saw his profile, it was so neat to see his little jaw moving up and down.  He also had the hiccups during the ultrasound which was pretty awesome.  We could see his little diaphragm spasm and I could see what I was feeling on the inside.  During the ultrasound she was trying to get a good photo of his right foot which was up under my rib cage.


RIGHT FOOT UNDER MY RIBS





I'm still feeling really great!  I'm at the point where I'm not huge but I look and feel pregnant, finally.  Most people are still thinking I'm smaller than they expect at this point.  I think that this is how I've always been with all my pregnancies.  I seem to get pregnant in my back before I do in my belly, oh for the love of muffin tops!  It helps that I think pregnancy is the most beautiful time of a woman's life, maybe that's why I love being pregnant.  I do feel extra beautiful right now!!! It's quite possible that's why our Lydia is overly obsessed with pregnancy, or because EVERY single womb around us is full of baby!


Lydia and Mom with our bellies

I love when people feel the baby moving.  Both my IPs were able to feel their little dude moving at the ultrasound a couple weeks ago.  I also find any open hand that is available to feel my belly when he's moving.  I have a co-worker at an office that I temp at that can't have kids and has never felt a human (she's felt dogs) moving in the womb, until this little guy!  She's been able to feel him several times and gets so excited each time.  It makes me so happy when people get as excited as I do.  Even my in-laws, who only talk about the pregnancy if I bring it up, felt him move over Christmas.  We're making strides in the right direction, yay!  I always make it a point to ask if people are interested in feeling him because it makes me so happy to have others enjoy this wonderful experience.

Speaking of wonderful experience, I feel like the farther along in this journey we get the more I'm surprised at how perfect everything is.  Our match couldn't be more perfect, we're so lucky that I got pregnant the first try, he looks healthy, we've had a tremendous support system, I'm fascinated by the impact it's had on the people around us, we've been loved beyond words by our IPs and their families, our agency has been so wonderful, and it's been overall simply AMAZING!  I had a telephone conversation with IP-A not long ago...I said, "I'm kind of sad that this will be over in 15 weeks.  I feel like I'm on a trip that I've saved for my whole life and it's been everything I hoped it would be, and more, but I'm not ready for it to be over."  (I realize most of you will never understand this feeling and probably think I'm sick, but I'm enjoying every second of this journey!)  What IP-A said to me will stick with me forever, "You can think of this as a lifelong journey that is just beginning!"  It confirms that we'll have an awesome friendship forever.  Two families brought together for one little life, a little life that will do BIG things!  He's one lucky little man!

There couldn't be an update without talking about food, right?!  I've discovered that I can eat soft served vanilla frozen yogurt.  It tastes okay, so I've only eaten a couple bites of the kids.  I was just excited that it didn't taste horrible!  Our youngest, George, is sugar free so I usually enjoy the sugarless foods that I make for him.  I wonder if this will change after delivery?  I did have a pretty strong craving for homemade baked beans that my IPs brought to a BBQ this summer.  I thought it was a secret recipe, but when the surrogate needs those beans it's not hard to crack it.  My sister was craving the same beans so she came over after I made them.  They didn't taste as good as my IPs so I might request them at one of the baby showers that I'll be attending.  I've heard that IP-B's aunt makes the best  :)

  

PREGNANT SISTERS ENJOYING OUR FIRST TASTE OF BAKED BEANS 



 

I have my gestational diabetes test next week Friday, I've never had it before so the only concern I have is that it might be terribly sweet.  After that appointment we're actually on every two week OB appointments already.  It's hard to believe that we're that far along.  My IPs will come up on the 17th for our appointment and then they're going to come and watch Ben and the kids in their Wizard of Oz play.

Believe it our not, Ben and I haven't watched Baby Mama!  We finally rented it and are just sitting down to watch it together.  The cover says, "Would you put your eggs...in this basket?"  It's too late for my IPs.  The deed has been done!  I'll let you know what we think in next weeks blog.  Merry Christmas!
 

Surrogates Unite

I've been lucky to be able to join a surrogate support group with about fifty Midwestern ladies.  It's a group where nothing is off limits and we're allowed to get support from women who completely understand each other.  Saturday, I attended a gathering with six surrogates from Minnesota.  I love being able to connect with these ladies.  Some of these women have/are carrying several times for several different couples.  Most are gestational surrogates and a few have been traditional surrogates.  Some are "retired" and others, like me, are having our first journey.  It's great to be able to listen to each woman's perspective and realize how similar we all are.  I guess we all clearly like being pregnant and have WONDERFUL husbands/partners that are more than supportive of our desire.  I know that this desire of mine is something that I couldn't keep pushing down, for years it would come to the surface with a vengeance...I would have regretted not doing it.  I don't know if you believe in God, The Universe, or some type of Energy source, but this desire is one, of many, of my "callings" in life.  I feel great satisfaction for listening and following through with this calling.        

Each time I meet with a surrogate, I realize that we all have to deal with the reality that there are those people that aren't supportive of our decision.  No matter what life decisions, or sometimes lack there of decision...just the life we were given, there are people who won't be supportive, and that's ok so long as they keep that to themselves.  Some people think that it's ok to share their opinion with us and tell us why it's wrong, or right, and others will just simply ignore the pregnancy and don't want to deal with the fact that we are genuinely happy growing a BEAUTIFUL baby inside our womb.  I've even been told that some people look at surrogacy as some sort of prostitution.  I'M NOT JOKING, I've heard it!  They think we're selling our bodies for money.  I'll just let you stew in that one for only a moment...

With the few negative things we have all heard about surrogacy, there is an overwhelming amount of positive things that we've all heard.  Strangers aren't afraid to wrap their arms around me and give me the greatest hug that anyone could give.  People tear up at the idea of how we could give the greatest gift, life.  Others will share that they had this desire and never lived it out.  More people than I can count have said that they've heard about surrogates on the news but have never met one in real life.  One person even told me that I am now a local celebrity (that made me chuckle)!  The point is, is that I'm just showing people that I'm living who I am and who I was created to be.  These are the people we want to surround ourselves with!  Life in general should be shared with positive people, and those are the people I'm really attracted to.  I enjoy being around happy people and people who enjoy being around me.

 My family is my greatest blessing in this life.  I have really high expectations of what a great family is, because generation after generation has been lead by an amazing example of how people should be treated when they are part of a family.  Both of my Grandmas did a great job of allowing us to see that when you join a family, you simply become another person to love just as equal as all the others.  When I was blessed with my only living Grandpa (Only by looking at a family tree would you know that he is technically my Step-Grandfather), George, he and my Grandma embraced each other's kids and grandkids like their own.  The joining of 10 kids, in-laws, and 27 grandkids couldn't have had a more beautiful ending, or beginning!!!  We were given more awesome people to love and to love us!  This is much like the joining of a surrogate's family with the intended parents and their family, we're gaining more awesome people to love and to love us!  

Speaking of my amazing family, on Sunday I'm going to be heading to my aunt and uncle's house for a photo shoot where five of eight pregnant cousins will be showing off our beautiful baby bellies.  Can you imagine how excited our Grandparents must feel looking down on all of us grandkids?  This might be the only time when 8 of 27 grandkids are pregnant and due between January 2014 and May 2014.  It's going to be so awesome!     



21 weeks



I'm a little over 21 weeks now and this little man is moving all the time.  Lydia and Jack have been able to feel him and if you watch my belly close you can see the kicks.  He kept me awake two nights ago from 3:30 am to when I got out of bed.  My IPs better watch out, he's going to be a little night owl!  We took the kids to production of Beauty and The Beast on Sunday and he moved the entire show.  I think he's going to be a theatre lover, maybe because he started off by listening to The Wizard of Oz just two days after he was put in my uterus.  He listened to The Sound of Music all summer long because Lydia was in that show.  Jack just finished up with The Little Mermaid, and as of yesterday, the kids and Ben started rehearsals for The Wizard of Oz.  I'm get to work the spotlight and watch all their performances!  I think he'll be one happy baby listening to all of this from the cozy warmth of his womb.  LIFE IS GOOD!! 

It's a...



This baby will always have a special place in my heart!  I know he'll grow up and do great things.

Yesterday was the big 20 week ultrasound.  Of course my IPs were both able to attend this amazing event.  Just as I hopped in my car the baby started moving like crazy.  I seriously talked out loud to it, telling it that it had to keep moving so it's parents could feel it kicking when I got to the clinic.  After a quick hug to greet my IPs, I laid in the back seat of their vehicle and both of them were able to feel their baby move for the first time!  That was a pretty magical!  I think all three of us were beaming from ear to ear.

The plan for the ultrasound was that none of us would find out the gender of the baby and the next day (today) would be a family reveal party to learn the gender.  They asked the ultrasound tech if she would be able to e-mail or call the bakery to let them know if it was a boy or girl.  Apparently those of us in the medical field would think that HIPPA would allow this to happen, and of course we were wrong.  IP-A and IP-B both decided that I could find out the gender and call the bakery after the appointment.  Before finding out the gender, I told them that my gut feeling was a girl and that I'll continue to call it a she and at the reveal party I'd vote girl, wear a "GIRL" sticker, and not tell a soul no matter what.  That was not an easy task.  It was pretty obvious when the tech got to the right area that it was CLEARLY a boy!  I winked at the tech and kept my word.  I didn't tell anyone! 



It's a BOY!

We were given two CDs with photos of the ultrasound and she included the gender picture, so IP-B decided that I should take their CD with me and bring it to them today so that IP-A wouldn't cheat.  I started getting texts this morning begging me to tell IP-A, but I played along and couldn't ruin the surprise! 

Ben, the kids, and I were we were lucky enough to bring the guest of honor to the gender reveal party that my IPs had with both their families.  It shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that I would be greeted with overwhelming love and gratitude.  I wasn't expecting to hear every single person say "Thank you!"  I've never thought of the impact this child would have outside of my IPs.  To be able to hug the grandparents, aunts, and uncles of this baby gave me a whole new perspective on being a surrogate, much like discovering the the amazing impact it's having on our children and community.  I can't believe that I never thought in depth about how my IPs families must feel.  It was a room filled with so much love for the baby in my womb.  And this is one lucky baby!  I always say how fortunate I feel to be matched with such an amazing couple, but now I feel even more lucky to be matched with these amazing families!  They are truly awesome people.      

As each person came into the party they were to pick a gender and wear a sticker with their guess.  One uncle came in and asked what I thought it was and pulled a Ben, he picked the opposite because he remembered that I've never been right with guessing any of our kids genders.  After we had a lovely pizza lunch it was time for a fun game of "What do the Old Wives Tales tell us about the gender?"  I answered a bunch of old wives tale questions and came to the conclusion that we were split right down the middle on if it's a boy or girl. 

My IPs cut into the cake right after the game.  The cake was to have blueberry filling for a boy or raspberry filling for a girl.  The fruit layer was so thin that it was really difficult to tell if it was raspberry or blueberry.  I let them look hard and waited to see if they could figure it out, I heard them say "I think it's a girl"...then they looked at me and I had to tell them that IT'S A BOY!  They tasted the fruit filling and it was blueberry!  Sometimes things happen for reasons, and it was a good thing that I secretly knew the gender.  Everyone seems to be really excited about this new baby boy  :)      



The Cake

Blueberry Filling = Boy